Slackerface

i'm not going to apply for that last fellowship (yeah, the prestigious one that's sat on the to-do list and mocked me every time i looked at it for the last 3 months.) bite me.

for one thing, the deadline is feb 1 and i've been super late getting on the ball (although i have noone to blame but myself). secondly, the fact that i don't have to apply is a huge relief (almost all the programs i've applied to will offer me full financial support for 5+ years if i'm admitted and choose to attend). thirdly, the financial aid forms total 18 pages, and require extensive sets of USD figures i don't have. fourth, and corollary to the first and third points, dad -- whose expert skills i need to help me fill half the stuff out -- will shoot me if i tell him i need to start working on this now for submission by next week.

but as if all this wasn't enough to deter my erstwhile good intentions, the actual application totals 11 pages, and contains topic after essay topic (beyond the usual why do you want to pursue this graduate degree, what exactly do you want to study, and why have you picked x university in which to do so) that i don't particularly want to write about:
"what motivates you? how and why?"
"describe a time you were under pressure to make a critical decision. how did you respond? what was the impact of your decisions? faced with the same situation today, would you do anything differently?"
"discuss a piece, or pieces, of art, literature, music, or film which you created or in which you have participated. why is it meaningful to you? what have you learned?"
"comment on the following quote: "when admissions officers gather to create a freshman class, there is a large elephant in the room," wrote jennifer delahunty britz, in the new york times last week [march 23, 2006]: "the desire to minimize gender imbalance in their classes." britz, the admissions dean at kenyon college, wrote that her institution gets far more applications from women than from men and that, as a result, men are "more valued applicants." – chronicle of higher education; march 27, 2006"
and worst of all:
"what are your long-term career plans?"

(there's also a narrative autobiography, but we won't even go there.)

if you find yourself dying to work on questions like these, please go get your head checked. asapkthxbye.

yes, it's a lot of money, but frankly, at this stage, all i really want to do in life is watch salaam-e-ishq, go to goa next month, and take naps when i'm not randomly counting from 1-100 or conjugating simple verbs for french class. or eating blueberry cheesecake at moshe's.

mmmm, cheesecake. far more interesting than fellowship applications. non?