Ignominy

gautam tambay, you are a shady bugger.

that is all :P

Just Call Me "Stupid"

i haven't backed up my data since august '07. (this alone should tell you what's coming.)

said backup may or may not exist on another computer -- i can't remember whether or not i kept the master copy of all the stuff i took off my parents' computer at home. i also can't remember whether what i put on my brother's computer in september '07 is still there -- i think he deleted everything i'd put on there, with my approval, because i'd only put it there as a temporary measure until i got my new imac.

today, the hard drive on said imac failed. the thing is less than a year old.

many minutes of "the spinning wheel" and many conversations with mac support people later, i'm not yet sure what the future of my information is -- i know only that there is a "possibility" that i've lost my data, and that data recovery (if successful) will cost me $300.

i must admit, i am not attached beyond repair to all of the (a) mp3s (b) photos (c) 4 years of work from college (d) 1 year of work from grad school i had on my hard drive. so much of it is useless/outdated/sentimental electronic relics that i haven't looked at in years. so much of it is just music, which can be re-downloaded if need be, but which i also have on my ipod, and would only have to re-sync, not even rename (since itunes takes care of the back end). and so much of the most important stuff (like blog content, or email) is online nowadays, and never sees "soft copy" status on personal hard drives.

but even so: i have to say, suffering the remorse and self-reprimanding that i'm suffering now, that given a chance, i would rather rescue it all as a way to prevent having to learn the lesson than let it be lost just so i could learn the lesson.

i am sad.

and, like i said: stupid.

Happy Little Things

i'm sitting in the grad lab, on a lovely friday evening in the summer, bundled up because it's cold, typing up notes on a set of 10 middle english lyrics -- part of the 50 book thing (see here <http://simran.nomadlife.org/2008/04/summer-of-books.aspx> for the latest official iteration of the list).

now, i like the poems, because they're interesting, and funny, and unfamiliar to me, generically (i've had more exposure to alliterative long-line poetry and iambic pentameter than to the short secular/religious lyric) -- so that's not the problem.

the thing is, one google docs file stands between me and going home for the day. my consolation is that, after i finish this writeup, i'll be just over 1/3 done with the reading for the exam. but still... to be outside, eating ice cream and being worry-free right now.... *sigh*

but my companion, for now, must be a box of cvs salted mixed nuts. peanuts/almonds/cashews. they are yum, somewhat healthy, and motivational. sadly, i think i like the almonds best. this is like what that psychology grad student dude i met once told me about the sort of unthinking decision we make based on a misleading perception that we'll be happier for it -- such as buying mixed yogurt, and feeling like that's better value for money, and that variety is the spice of life, when in fact we're more likely to just eat the peach or strawberry yogurt and glare balefully at the least favourite flavour as it sits in the fridge with no takers. exactly that, in this situation: i suspect there will be a ton of peanuts sitting in the tub at the end of this eating episode... and perhaps a lyric or two that will fall to the bottom of the list and be glared at, as well.

now, back to the notes.

75° Never Felt This Good

after a 4-day philadelphia heat wave (99° on the mac widget! blazing sun! insane heat index! excessive humidity! thunderstorms that never came!) that knocked me off my feet and put both my little window fans to work pretty much non-stop, the change in weather starting last night was an absolute godsend.

lightning flashed, thunder crashed, and lovely cold raindrops pelted me as i stood on the porch last night, staring down into a bleak back alley lit by a single spotlight and thinking about life and all its surprises. the perfect storm for my state of mind. and this morning, the breeze dancing around me -- air that wasn't muggy! air that moved! -- was like a miracle.

object lesson: even if you're from india, you can feel too hot for comfort. but all you need is a little summer rain to make everything better.